I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
