I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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