You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
