I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
