i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
