Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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