I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
