So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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