come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
