I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
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We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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