We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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