I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
