eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
