Sponge bath it is.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
try to milk me bitch
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
