I got chris browned last night
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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