i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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