Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
