im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
