i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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