god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
home. puking in laundry basket.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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