Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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