I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
