airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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