She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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