Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
pray to the hookup gods
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
