This is not my ceiling
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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