i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
