If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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