I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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