3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
