You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
