East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
