I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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