can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
