STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
