Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
