in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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