Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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