My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
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Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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