I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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