Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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