If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
