I love black thongs
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
