he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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