Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
