just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
