the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
