On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im part way to drunk.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
