Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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