Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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