my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
