I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize