ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
