1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
