So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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