I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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