that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
