they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
