Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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