please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
