So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I will pee on everything he values.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
God I need to hump something, right now.
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