It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize