butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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