from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Mom said you looked used
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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