Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
