See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
